waiting

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There is a lot to be said about patience and how it’s good for you etc. and I would love to swim in abundant springs of patience but I don’t have any where I live. As of late I’ve gotten the feeling again that I am waiting, waiting for some sign or clue to help me make a decision. The future has infinite possibilities but I seem to get stuck in the present when deciding how my actions today will affect those future possibilities. It’s not just about possibilities. The reality is that you can’t count on the future to be there.It’s a nice thought, but it’s not realistic. Think of the people in your life who where here one moment and gone the next, whether it was life or death that took them away from you doesn’t matter. It was outside of your control. I guess I’m saying this more for myself than anything. Do what you need to do and get on with your life. You aren’t missing anything and nothing’s set in stone. Act not out of opposition, put your ego in check when your emotions rise up. Decide for yourself what is right for you. Some times you’ll be mad, some times  they’ll be mad. But everyone decides what is right for him/her self. And waiting, well that’s alright if you are weighing your options and trying to make an informed decision. Waiting is not ok when you are deferring your power to someone else and letting them decide for you. In my experience I’ve used the “wait and see” expression many times, usually hoping for a different answer than the one that was right in front of me. I guess this is why waiting drives me crazy. How soon I forget that ‘rushing’ also makes for it’s own kind of crazy.

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