Today i feel overwhelmed. I didn’t quite have a name for this feeling but, it’s come to me and there it is. I’m overwhelmed. On a daily basis I think about work, and not just work, but how can I make work better, and not just what I do currently but what I would rather be doing, It’s like I’m always on this self-help trip and don’t get me wrong it’s mostly amazing, but some times it’s fucking overwhelming. Sometimes, I have to face the fact that I don’t have a magic wand, that I don’t have all the answers, that I have to put in the effort before i see the results I’m looking for.
Today in particular I have been a crabby pants. Not to anyone in particular but in my own head. I want to breathe fresh air, and just take a mind cleansing break. Do ya feel me? I’m working on projects, excited, determined, happy, yes all of those things. But I never forget the clock, I’m not ‘flowing’. I’m doing a lot more than nothing but I stop short of patting myself on the back. It’s actually not really fair but what can I say, I’m a harsh critic.
I have a box of books I want to read, a house that needs cleaning, a body that needs fitness, a mind that needs more regular breaks. And I’m struggling with giving all of those amazing things the time they deserve. Oh, don’t forget a business that needs love, and attention. I really wish I were bionic.
I feel like I get into this mood a lot and i haven’t been able to find the way out of it. I would like to find the way out of it with a little less self-inflicted abused. I try to do this by focusing on the positive, and there is a lot of positive but what i struggle with is being efficient with my time and my resources and choosing what’s good for me even if it seems a little selfish. I guess in short, i struggle with finding balance. How do you achieve balance?