My Amazon order came today. I was so excited to see my books but sort of sad too. Why sad? Because my book choices really showcase something personal about my life at this point, it’s devoid of self-compassion. In short, I don’t believe in myself. I’m seriously easily hurt by criticism, not because I can’t handle it but because I usually end up only seeing the flaws in myself and in my character. And when i say i see the flaws, meaning like I SEE them and none of the awesomeness. So, yeah, it’s for this reason that a bunch of my book choices are self-help in nature, because I want to love myself and in order for that to happen I need go into that murky place and find a way to show myself some compassion.
And about self improvement, no one else can improve you. That’s why it’s called self-improvement, because you improve yourself, work on yourself, propel yourself forward. Other people can encourage you, support you, and motivate you but they can’t force you to improve yourself or change. It’s just one of those things where you have to move at your own pace. So yeah, Universe, I often succumb to the self-doubt demons, and I’d like to understand myself better. Here’s to a year of being honest and living an authentic life. Wish me luck.