no apologies

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my blog posts are going to be more irregular than usual. It’s nothing new considering my tendency to start blogging and then get distracted for weeks on end. Having a child is taking up a good deal of my time. go figure, right? i think of great posts to write, maybe i jot down a note to remind myself, and then forget about the note. Sometimes it’s just finding time. Most of my day is spent revolving around the baby’s needs, and trying to accomplish a few things during the pockets of time i get while she is sleeping. As I write this she is sleeping beside me, the sound of my “shushing” app on my left competing with the sound of the breast pump on my right. I’m typing with one hand while massaging milk ducts with another. I am ever the picture of glamour. This post was interrupted by an unplanned visit from the AC guys, fumbling with the dogs, putting the baby back to sleep (fortunately she was lightly roused) and settling back down, now with two hands to type with.

The last few weeks have been interesting and tiresome. The  baby is getting her routine sorted out. Mommy, as usual, is still trying to figure hers out. I lose patience with little things. I feel more guilt about every little thing. I know no one really knows what they’re doing and that the hubs and I are both learning as we go, but still the frustrations of fumbling around with a little creature that can’t communicate verbally, 3 furry beasts under foot, my hand pain (officially De Quervains tendinitis NOT carpal tunnel), all while functioning on limited sleep. It’s enough to make anyone a little loopy. I put a lot of undue pressure on myself, take things a little personally, and I snap. All things which I don’t like about the effects of stress and lack of sleep. I don’t mind the night wakings and feedings etc. I mind that I can’t always calm the baby before waking up my hubs and I hate how this impacts his day. I need him so much with my hands being in pain and I’m always ready for him to come home, no matter if we’ve had a good day or not. After 2 months of  hand and wrist pain, possibly longer, I went and got a cortisone shot yesterday. I tried to take care of it homeopathically, but at this point, i don’t have time to wait for these natural remedies.  I suppose the reason I feel so run down most days is because I just haven’t been taking proper care of myself.  Just yesterday I irritated my lower back. A visit to the chiropractor confirms that ~shocker~ I need to rebuild some core strength. I am out of balance physically and once I get things back in balance I will feel brand new. I’m just not sure how to strike that balance.

I attended a mommy group this week. I actually enjoyed it. It was a few hours out of the house with the baby, who actually slept quite a bit during the outing. It  was breastfeeding mommy group and I needed the help, even if it was just to be in a group of new moms all trying to do the same thing. I had a troublesome clogged duct which is now gone but I gained a lot from attending. I’ll definitely go again.

When I find a few minutes of time I’ll try to work on the project life stuff. I have some catching up to do but I have set up shop in the dining room with a little makeshift “crafting” corner accessible to me for whenever I see an opportunity. In the evenings when I’m feeding the baby before bed, or when I’m being suctioned by the pump at 2AM I browse my favorite Project Life blogs and get inspired, just need to make a little time for that inspiration. Luckily my parents are always willing to help with the baby. Perhaps one of these weekends I will play catch up. Where I am stuck now, is writing on the journaling cards. I find my notes and words rather dumb and inadequate. For someone who values words so much this is unbelievably frustrating. I guess I should keep in mind that this book in particular (for the baby) will end up being her scrap book and when I share it with her she will not want to read a lengthy tome. I can always insert the lengthy stuff like her birth story into a large pocket for posterity.

Anyways… that’s what I have got for now.

As usual I’m working on several items from my to-do lists and trying to get my Notes app to synch all my devices on to the cloud. Wish me luck.

  1. Make chiropractor appt (DONE!)
  2. Get a massage (scheduling now!
  3. Make a dentist appt.
  4. Clear out hall closet (I wrote this down, but don’t even know what i mean!)
  5. Put Towels away (lord this basket of beach towels!)
  6. Locate an Ashtanga Yoga Video for home practice (let’s strike that balance!)

 

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