missing you

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I hope nobody minds if I post twice in one day… I am sure those Disney pics were completely scintillating and you probably can’t take much more. Anyways, I guess this is going to be one of those introspective posts where I kind of just share what’s on my brain. Sometimes I feel like this before bed but I don’t always grab the pen and paper like I used to. Tonight I’m alone in my bed, all is well of course, hubs is just traveling for work for a few days. But the level of missing I feel has got me thinking. I spend just about every free moment with this beautiful man and I wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s my best friend in every way. I never get tired of being around him. It’s a thought that makes me very happy, even though I miss him. I also get a little retrospective and realize that I used to feel relief whenever a past boyfriend had to go away or I found myself having to get away and not only that, but away really meant away. It was like a complete dead zone. Zero communications, no ‘I miss you’, nothing. Everyone needs room in a relationship, room to breathe, to nurture themselves, to tend to their hobbies and self-care. I used to need to get away to do that because I didn’t get to do that within my relationships. Usually because I didn’t take care of myself, not because someone prevented me. And now having a few days apart I can tell you I don’t feel relief, the dogs are sad, everyone is a little moppier. I am filling the space and meeting up with a friend here and there but I miss my companion. And it’s the moments like these when I think of the advice I will give my future children: don’t try to build a life with or around someone you only like to be around part of the time.

I have so many little nuggets of advice. And I hope I remember to share them with my kids or my nieces and that I get the chance to do so. I didn’t get a lot of practical advice about relationships growing up. I guess it’s one of those things I want to be able to share from time to time.

We can probably thank my pregnancy hormones for part of this post. :) I’m not sad, mind you. I do miss my love but I’m happy that when he’s gone I miss him. And I get to feel the excitement of seeing him again. I have great dogs to cuddle and a baby that kicks me every now and then. I’m not lonely one bit. Life is just sweeter when I’m with the one I love. For the rest, I’m looking forward to our next ultrasound on Friday and seeing both my babies later on this week. <3 so much love. I burst with joy.

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