i went to the woods because…


Well, I finally did it! I finally booked a trip for myself. I am very excited to have nearly a week of quiet solitude and reflection. A while back I wrote down a few things that I would consider, “bucket list” items. The list wasn’t very long then, but it’s growing (as I knew it would over time). Initially when we are building bucket lists we tend to have a few big items and then our imagination seems to taper off. I say, dream big. For this adventure I wanted a sense of accomplishment so I picked the item that I could do reasonably soon. It was also important to pick a place that I felt connected to, that was tied to someone that I feel is in a way imbedded in a special place in my heart. For the first stop on my year of magical thinking tour, I bring you: Walden Pond.  Ooh, ahh, they all said in disbelief!

Henry David Thoreau is a very inspirational writer and one who I feel was completely ahead of his time. On my trip I have a few pitstops that center around him and Emerson, the pond, their houses and gathering spots, as well as places with literary significance such as Sleepy Hollow, and Louisa May Alcott’s house etc. Luckily they are all buried in the same cemetery, though I frankly have never visited anyone in a cemetery before. We’ll see. I’d like to see at least where they lay.

I know New England is rich with political history, particularly that which pertains to our founding fathers etc. but I really don’t care for politics. I’m on the fence as to whether I would want to do any tours related to history. I’d rather spend my time reading by the pond, connecting with my literary heroes. My second to-do item is to take a scenic drive and catch the fall foliage. It’s supposed to be at it’s peak then and I’m super excited to take my camera and snap up some amazing fall colors.

Doesn’t this just sound like my kind of vacation? It’s so liberating to take a trip that is all about you. It’s particularly special for me because I tend to allow myself to be codependent. I’ve always had the means to take a trip like this but it has never happend, primarily because this dream is specific. You’ve gotta want to do these things. And I never wanted someone to ruin it for me. You know what i mean, it’s probably happened to you. You go some place with a group or a friend and you want to go see X but for some reason or another it gets difficult to do X and for the comfort of the group or consideration of the other person, you don’t go see X leaving it instead for ‘next time’. Well, screw next time. I’m tired of it. I went to Massachusetts many years ago to see the dang Pilgrim re-enactment. All i wanted to do was steal away for a little while and visit Walden Pond. I ended up going with the group but not doing what I wanted to do. Those days are over for me.

(this was nice, but not what I wanted to do)

I’m declaring this my selfish year. The year that’s all about me. Jealous people will call it selfish, but people who get it will say that I am doing an intensive year of self-compassion or self-care. This year it will be ok to say no to doing things I don’t want to do. (it should always be ok to say no, duh!) I mean, I will say yes to doing the things I want to do. I will not wait for others, I will not defer my dream. I will live boldly, dream big, expand my consciousness. I will become my biggest fan. The intent is not to hurt people, but I won’t really be able to prevent that. People own their own feelings. This is an exercise for me too, after all. And if i have felt stuck or sad or disappointed by the things I haven’t done because there was no one to go with me, well that’s all going to change now. I’m just going to do it and anyone who can’t go can read about it on the blog and look at it in pictures.

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