Started a blog post last week, but never finished it. If you’re thinking i’m going to talk about it now… well, nope. LOL This one is completely about something else. I mentioned in an earlier post this year that I wanted to maybe do a youtube channel, given that i love watching youtube videos about scrapping and crafting etc. But today, I realized why i would actually NOT enjoy that… I haven’t been on facebook since 2013. I wrote about it then and now we are approaching the 3 year mark (I quit on March 1st 2013), life keeps happening and it happens with a LOT LESS frustration and annoyance? Competition? Passive aggressiveness? Hurt feelings? All of these are things that I’m pretty certain no one expects from facebook, but I can’t say i know anyone who hasn’t felt the dark side all because of that one wretched program/site etc.

Anyways, i’m rambling. I know what i want to do is engage with others, other peeps who like to be creative, other peeps who know what it’s like to juggle life, and who know what it’s like to lose sight of yourself or your goals in the midst of life’s stress and and mounting to do. Creativity is supposed to be an outlet. Most of the time i joke with my friend schmidt (picture me, clutching my hair in both clenched fists) CRAFTING IS SUPPOSED TO BE RELAXING. A great many times, that is NOT my experience. I am working on limited time, with limited supplies, and with sometimes, limited mental bandwidth. I am wanting inspiration from the divine muse who is clearly NOT on my schedule! And then the shopping, Schmidt called it sad shopping. It’s so true. Shopping is the new cookie/donut/chocolate bandaid. Not one i can afford.

In any case, (eventually, i’ll get to the point) I found this post on Suse Fish’s site and it made me glad that someone had written down what i thought and felt. Feels so great not to be alone. But it was really THIS POST that made me veto the youtube thing. I found that at the heart of things, youtube would turn into that same facebook thing, “like me”, “validate me”, “how do i fit in”, ” how many likes/followers/subscribers” ETC. Not saying those are exactly Suse’s reasons, but just ones that I thought of just now.  But this one, this one actually had me engage a little bit with the outside world, so much so that i actually liked it out loud. :-) Unusual for me, as i’ve been more of silent observer.  In any case, I’m aiming to engage more. To create more. And in general to do more of what makes me happy. As Ali Edwards mentions in the OLW, my goal is to SHOW UP. Both in the class, and in LIFE.  As always, i’m a work in progress! and what’s more I AM OK WITH THAT! <3


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