I have been having the most amazing last 3 months. I have scarcely had time to write about, or talk about it. I have just been living life and being really, really, happy. Each day, something surprises me. Whether that be a person, a feeling that I haven’t felt in a long time, or even my own response to situations and events. True happiness, at last.
Let’s make a list shall we of the awesome things that happened this year?
1. TRAVEL! I started my year by traveling to Portland for work, then the Bahamas on a Cruise, then Maryland for a Bachelorette party, then Mexico for a wedding, then back to Maryland for my nieces birthday and then Boston for my much needed return to self tour (also referred to previously as the year of magical thinking, or my emancipation tour, can’t really decide what to call it!)
2. LOVE! I started the year in a relationship. I was not very happy and when it ended there was sadness, at the loss of something that was familiar, even if it didn’t serve me. I turned that disappointment around, and fell in love with myself! I’m pretty nice! After all that love and growth explosion, I feel really blessed. I’m loving life right now and everyone who is in my life, even those so newly present in my life. I love the smell of possibility floating in the air.
3. HAPPINESS! The last 3 months have been the best of my life. It wasn’t easy to get here. I am sure I got in my own way in the past. But here I am, glowing, fascinated by life, embracing life, and allowing myself to be open to experience all that life has to bring. It’s the greatest joy. It’s the single thing in life I didn’t realize I was missing, but when the blinders came off, they really came off.
4. POETRY! I found my voice again and started writing more. Poetry/Fiction/Non-Fiction, i just wrote and wrote and wrote this year! Well the last 5 months any way. I made up for the whole year I think!
Let’s review the last 5 months in poetry? Just a few lines in chronological order of poems from the last 5 months.
July… (heavy shit!)
Each night I dredge the lake of my subconscious mind.
At the edge, with my dark self I stare
into the reflection-less pool.
My devices are inadequate.
August… (getting better)
The birdcage opens
at first nothing happens,
and then, in a moment you least expect
soars the captive.
So no we are not broken. Instead, we are more wholly ourselves. Which means we fix the chips on our surface, we seal the cracks that threaten to rip us apart. We work constantly to notice what threatens us, so we can tend to and mend ourselves before we allow ourselves to be chipped away and broken.
October… (here we go…
The sky fades its ombre glow
from black to blue.
Things become visible,
the night inside me, becomes visible.
November…(the heart center opens…)
My heart opens
Love feels like,
But I know for sure the world don’t run out of reinventing new
so don’t quit reinventing you and I will do the same
and blame can never fall on me or you
and same can be the name we give to things that sit too long
and never change.
I treasure every moment in my life, every person in my life, past and present. Only the special ones get this far. Thanks for being part of my life, and part of my year!