May 11, 2012
by lili_ana
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soaring

Hello World! I’m back again! I unplugged for a blissful week(ish) in Playa del Carmen Mexico for what was possibly the best wedding ever! My dearest Schmidt is now a married woman and I was only asked the infamous “when are you getting married?” once. I’m glad i didn’t to constantly answer to that one. In any case, I have come back from 4 amazing days in the Mexican sun. I’m so brown my nieces and nephews were asking my why i was so black. I took the luxury of spending a little QT with my best friend and got more sun and a few good meals without the childrens. Even if it was for just 2 meals,  it was nice to get my friend to myself and discuss life and such. When someone knows you as well as we know each other it’s important to sit down every now and then and be cheered, pepped, and inspired again. Not to mention the occasional venting and nagging that go along with these friendship sessions. Anyways, I thank my best friend for inspiring me to try, to go beyond my fear, to challenge myself and remind me that my happy place is not within any comfort zone. Happiness lies just beyond my comfort zone. Comfort does not equal happy. This realization was so transformative and yet so simple.  I’ve never been one for mediocre, but through the years I’ve relied on the steadfast embrace of comfort. And where has it gotten me? Fashion wise: In stretchy capri pants, floral t-shirt, and crocs.  Professionally: a stagnant but steady paycheck, with no serious responsibility and zero authority.  The point is, I’m either going to coast, or soar and it’s time to freaking soar. I may flap around and I may nose dive and maybe i have to coast a little bit until I get used to things but auto pilot, is never the objective.  I’m not even sure why I went with the bird analogy. But, let’s go with it shall we?   Perhaps it is a bit late in the year for ‘resolutions’ or ‘word of the year’ but if I had to pick one it would be SOAR.   Now, on to working on my photography project and getting my three chairs studio off the ground. It’s been a long time incubating and there is no time like the present. Wish me luck! If you have some inspiration/motivational books you can recommend please leave a comment or message me on twitter.  I’m trying stay positive and could use cheerleaders!

 

April 24, 2012
by lili_ana
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modern day slavery

OK, perhaps that is a little steep, modern day slavery a.k.a work. It feels like that a lot of the time. This week alone I have said on numerous occasions how work is getting in the way of life and how work keeps me from doing the things I love etc. I forget, of course, how work affords me the means to do things I love and go places and see people etc. How quickly I forget huh?  Even when I get a little free time at work, I wish I had more. I think I waste a lot of time and (not my bosses time), I waste a lot of my own precious, free time. I spend it, surfing the internet reading blogs, looking at pictures. “Market Research” I call it. My ass. It’s all good to get inspiration from the internet, we don’t live in a vacuum so it’s expected that inspiration will strike you from the places you frequent the most.  But it seems to me that the flame of inspiration burns on the worlds tiniest wick. I attribute that to the attention span we really giving things. When I’m at work and have a free moment the most I can really think or do about any inspiration is 1. write it down 2. say hmm, that’s cool or 3. pin it/retweet it. This is all tantamount to a drawer full of post its and to do’s from yesteryear. The internet is SO much more amazing when I actually have time to spend perusing on specific topics. Then I actually do something with the amazing stuff, I benefit from it, instead of the fleeting moments of I’ll have to get back to that.  I guess I’m just another slave to the grind needing to be unshackled.

April 22, 2012
by lili_ana
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productive weekend

If you know me, well then you know that by ‘productive weekend’ I mean that I have cleaned my desk yet again. This time I’ve been more liberal with my purging, keeping fewer and fewer items for nostalgic purposes. I threw away receipts dated from 2009. YES! 2009!  As I mentioned in my earlier post I will be having a cleaning lady come by and make things beautiful  but even I know she’s not a magician and cannot clean around clutter.

In other productive news, I delivered my first client her pics! I have made her and husband a very happy couple. In the midst of all the mayhem in my life I decided that I needed to pick a hard date for the deliverables or else life would continue to get in the way. Luckily my first client was also a life long friend. But I have learned a lot about how I want to conduct my business to make is smoother for me and for my clients. I guess this is the shit you don’t learn from someone else’s photography site! Staring at pics is great, but the business of photography is more than just pretty pictures. Though, really that is the best part about it!

This week I have a newborn shoot to do. I am really excited and a little nervous as this is my first newborn shoot. You can be sure I will share the finished pics here. I have been trying hard to get my website up and running but I can’t seem to find time to do it while I’m working. So for now, this remains the personal blog with spatters of photography shoots. Soon I will be able have things all in one place.

April 20, 2012
by lili_ana
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busy bee

It’s high time I write a blog post, I think. It’s been busy and I’m coming to realize that ‘busy’ is the new normal. In the past I was not busy. But, to be honest, before i was “busy” I was just plain boring. Life was spent at work or at home or grocery shopping or on my way to either of the three. It was not exciting. In some ways becoming a “parent” has been great. There is never a dull moment around here, nope, no boring to speak of. The only thing happening now is that too many events press together on my social calendar. “Me time” and “yoga” now occupy the same place on the calendar. “Date Night” overlaps with “kid is over at friends house” and “cleaning” over laps with “friend time” and usually “friend time” wins. So it is with great excitement that I announce that I am FINALLY getting a cleaning lady. This moment has been a long time coming. When it comes to cleaning I am OCD and ADD all at once. This does not bode well for cleaning and organization. Tasks get started and partially executed or not well executed. I had to face the humbling reality of the cost of cleaning my home but in the end, I am happy to have one less thing to worry about. And I know that my cleaning lady will appreciate having my little house provide her some extra income. This is a win/win in my book.

Doesn’t that all sound just peachy? But the reality is that now I have to clean my clutter so she can actually clean effectively. So, even though she is going to clean I still have to put shit away. Pushing things to one side will just not do. I really hope I get so used to seeing things clean that I really become OCD about cleanliness. We’ll see I guess.

 

April 10, 2012
by lili_ana
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i’m human

I’m only human! How often have you uttered that phrase? Usually incredulously, with hands either at your hips or up in the air, well at least that’s how I do it. Sometimes, there is even a complimentary shoulder shrug. I am only human, and yet I hold others to much higher standards. Sometimes I even forget that I am human and treat myself with an absolute absence of compassion. Then I’m angry, and unforgiving of myself and in turn, unforgiving of others. It’s a vicious cycle being human. So is compassion for that matter. I suppose this is a reminder to myself to be kinder to myself and kinder to others. Heck maybe this is a reminder to you out there… be nice.

Yesterday, I practically flipped my lid when someone mockingly told me  ”be nice”. It was a reaction akin to when someone tells somebody who is yelling not to yell and all you get back is “I’M NOT YELLING!!!”  I guess another reminder that I am human and a reaffirmation that I can only be as nice to others as I am to myself.  How do I get the voice of love and compassion to flow through the speaker system of my brain? Someone tell me please.

Today: I will change something that’s bothering me, so that I don’t obsess and self-loathe about it. And I will repeat this every day. And when I forget this, falling far off the high horse, I will dust myself off and do it all over again. Failing is part of life, everyone fails, don’t wallow, don’t sulk, don’t think you’re the only one.

 

April 5, 2012
by lili_ana
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business developments

Working on establishing a photography business is a lot of work. Taking pictures is more instinctual to me, but designing a site, establishing a brand, all while keeping a day job and some semblance of a social life is hard work! Lately I’ve been getting stumped by coding of my wordpress template and I am nearing the point where I say, you know, this just isn’t my area. I need help. Then of course I have to write about myself and basically be my own cheerleader. This is uber difficult for me. Although in most scenarios I’m a savvy little wordsmith such is not the case when it comes to touting my skills, or praising myself. It’s just not something I do. Not sure when I became this shy little damsel… it frustrates me. I’m confident in my skill. I know that is not it. It’s just not easy to talk about without feeling like I’m bragging… but then again… isn’t marketing really just business speak for bragging? Ugh, I’m going to have to get rid of all these negative associations with words.

March 27, 2012
by lili_ana
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a month goes by, but what a month it was

Finally, I’ve been busy working on some amazing things! Instead of my usual boring little homebody life, I’ve been jet setting around the globe for the last month. Let me update you on my whereabouts/happenings and you can tell me whether it justifies a little break from the internets.

  • A month from my last post I was flying to Oregon for work. I got to hang out with my Rolly Colly  gal pal Amanda and dine in some of Portland’s finest local eateries. It was a whirlwind trip with layovers in Phoenix and a pit stop in Washington state for a whopping 3 states/time zones in 3 days tour
  • After returning home I basically moved things from one suitcase to the next and prepared for my girlfriend Valerie’s Bachelorette cruise. I was Bahama bound! Three days of liver toxification later I was back at work wishing I could do it all over again.
  • My first weekend back home I was throwing my other girlfriend a baby shower! It was a busy weekend but everyone had a good time and left with a full bellies.
  • Just as I was beginning to settle down after my last few weeks of go, go, go, I basically got my ass flown to Maryland to celebrate Schmidt’s 21 forever birthday and surprise bachelorette party! That’s right, not 1 but 2 amazing nights of partying! Did I mention the party bus? Did I mention the stripper pole in the party bus? Ah, yes, good times indeed.
  • Oh and right about the time I get back to town and start dreaming about how it would be so nice to do absolutely nothing, my friends practically throw me an intervention party! Unlike a normal intervention, I have no addiction. Instead, this was more like a motivention as I basically received a motivational gang bang by all my closest friends. Resulting in….
  • Booking my first paid boudoir shoot!! A fire was lit under my ass. A fire my boyfriend could only bear witness to and smirk. He knows that one man’s support was not enough to motivate me to get off my ass and do what I love but boy is he glad i’m doing it!

This all reminds me of the reason why I started this blog in the first place, and frankly the photography leap is just that, a leap. BUT, a leap made possible only by effort!! And that’s what this blog has always been about! Making an effort for the things and people you love. I’m no where near perfect but I’m not going to let imperfections, whether in myself, or in my situation, dictate what I can and cannot do. And the message I will carry in everything that I do: it takes effort.  Everything does!! Relationships, a photo shoot, being kind, remaining calm and being true to yourself, all such varied things but none the less all require your life long attention and support.

 

Look for three chairs studio to come to an internet near your very shortly! Very excited! Thanks for sharing my journey with me!

February 20, 2012
by lili_ana
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friendly skies

Sitting on the plane on the way to Portland. There is wifi but I can’t seem to connect to it. I nearly missed my flight. I forgot my backpack on the tram and had to run back take the tram again and pick it up from security. Thank god I made it. I half considered not going back. After all, it only contained my work laptop and iPhone. So I arrived on the plane drenched, gasping and overall a hot mess. But things got better. For one, the plane wasn’t full, as if that weren’t awesome enough there are NO KIDS on this flight. It’s been almost four hours of blissful nap time. Except for the guy three seats in front of who’s experiencing an allergic reaction. Luckily I was sitting next to a doctor so I’m in good hands too should I need it. my heartburn won’t kill me, so, I should be just fine.
Here’s hoping the rest of my trip goes just as well. Only one connection to go!!